Things All Good Mothers Think but Never Say Out Loud
Some not-so-warm-and-fuzzy thoughts that even the best mothers have had.
By Betsy Voreacos
We’re moms. We love our kids. We love their dimply little smiles and their funny little stories. We love their limitless capacity for wonder and amusing sense of humor.
Here it comes … the BUT …
… BUT, we’ve all had our share of not-so-warm-and-fuzzy thoughts about our children. And guess what? It doesn’t mean we don’t love them any less.
1. Could you please just BE QUIET already? Mom! Where’s my backpack? Mommy! I said I needed a snack! MOTHER! Emma hit me! Sometimes you just want to stick your fingers in your ears and ignore every demand, every scream, every question, every blah, blah, blah. Just like they do.
2. Why can’t you try harder? You never miss a baseball game, but you cringe every time your kid comes up to bat. He swings, he misses, he cries. You tell him he’ll get better, but you know he’s not even trying – despite loving the game. Maybe he feels overwhelmed, or he might benefit from trying a different sport or activity. Start the conversation and see how he responds.
3. Why can’t you be more like your cousin? We all have one: a perfect niece or nephew who wows the grandparents with their perfect little manners at family functions. They’re almost not even human, their behavior is so impeccable. And then … there’s your kid. Your totally normal kid who acts totally age-appropriately. He only seems “bad” compared to Best-Behaved Brian over there. Keep telling yourself that while he’s cracking open and slurping all the mini coffee creamers under the table with your other (also normal) nephew.
4. Why did I have a second child? Or a third. Or a first, for that matter. (Kidding … mostly.) It’s totally normal to have these fleeting thoughts on brutally hard days when you feel like you can’t do it all. Just remember – you can do this, like you did yesterday and the day before.
More from P&G everyday: 6 Tips for Raising Positive Thinkers
5. Why aren’t you as good at [insert skill here] as [insert other kid here]? Your best friend’s kid is the star of the soccer team. Your neighbor’s daughter wins every art contest at school. Your nephew came in first place at this year’s spelling bee. Don’t worry, moms – your child will have her day to shine, too. If she’s not worried about it, you shouldn’t be, either.
6. Please, please, please, sleep a little longer! Even just past 6 a.m. on a weekend! And if I can’t have that, just take a decent nap for once. Or sit and watch TV with your older brother while I take a nap.
7. What would I do without you? OK, so this is one that you should say out loud. It’s important for your kids to hear and you’ll erase all those negative thoughts every time you say it.
What not-so-nice thoughts do you admit you’ve had about your own kids?
You are a parent of a teenager and unfortunately, that fact alone makes you totally uncool. No matter how hard you try, or how much your kids’ friends love you, you are never going to fully understand their world. Knowing and using some basic texting acronyms may not get you an invitation to chaperone the prom, but it might keep them from ROFL* at your total lack of swag.
I don’t know
If your teen asks what time you’ll be home, this is as good an answer as any when you and your husband are out for dinner on a Saturday night. Keep them guessing – you don’t want your open crib to become the party house.
Oh my god!
A universal response for everything from “I got an A on my history paper!” to “I just backed into a car in the parking lot.”
Shake (or scratch) my head
Good for commiserating in times of confusion – like when your son gets benched the game after he hits a walk-off homer or a lesser candidate wins class president.
Careful with this one, cause your jokes are never as funny as you think they are!
What the freak?
Though you know they are reading it with a totally different word, it’s a perfect response for when your daughter’s nemesis wins Homecoming Queen.
I know, right?
A perfect response to your son’s “But that’s not fair, mom!” when you deny him the right to sleep over at his girlfriend’s house.
Why one less letter makes a difference is a mystery to our generation, but go ahead, when he asks if he can stay out an extra 15 minutes, shoot back an occasional K or KK.
XD 😀 😉 <3
Sometimes sending a symbol is worth more than its weight in words. And don’t forget the power of an emoji!
Laughing out loud
Sometimes you just have to suck it up and send back a LOL, even when you find absolutely nothing funny about the teenage tale you’ve been told.
To be honest
LOL. TBH, I’d really like you home before midnight. TBH, I wish you’d stop rolling your eyes at me. TBH, I like the green dress better than the blue. But know that she’ll then surely choose the blue!
Best friends forever
You can tell your daughter you’re going shopping with your BFF, but don’t make the mistake of saying, “I thought Kaitlyn was your BFF.” Cause BFFs can change in a New York minute.
Talk to you later/Got to go
This just may be the most important texting term of all. When you’re dealing with your children, the wisest women know when it’s time to end the conversation
What crazy abbreviations do your teenagers use when they text?
*Rolling on the floor laughing